Mistakes and regret

When you're a teenager you think you can mess up whenever you want right? WRONG! lets just say I screwed up on Friday and I made the most irrational decisions... if you're one of those people that are thinking that because you're asian you're type casted and you want to be wild for a bit, trust me, there is a limit you can go. Let's just say you crossed that limit...you are going to regret it, especially if you live in asia, in particular if you live in Myanmar. This place is so weird because they gossip so much and if you mess up your reputation is down the drain. Therefore, I've learnt my lesson and will never ever ever be associated with that stuff, I just don't want to ruin my reputation on such an easy thing that you can avoid. Lets just say I regret that decision and it won't happen again because I love my family and I don't want to be that kid that defies her parents or doesn't tell them where she's going ( I was supposed to go to a bengali party but I didn't want to instead I went out with my friends). I think moving here I'm having a slight identity crisis.. don't worry I know who I am though and am going to be myself again ASAP because I don't like who I am currently I think I need to focus on blogging, school and work experience. In the end I don't want to grow up with regret I want to be someone who thinks: oh I messed up that one time but I'm proud of myself as I saw it was wrong and decided to make a change.

Going on to a less serious topic, today was my mums CEO's daughters graduation/birthday party. They were doing kareoke and my mum nominated me so I sang Ed Sheerans lego house ( I sang a cover for my gran on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wnCiWWrOnE). It was really scary even though it was casual. I'm not used to singing on mike so it was different and I think the adrenaline kicked in because I felt really shaky after it and I still don't remember it (I remember singing it but I don't... get it?) it was good practice I guess for funfair, because you have a lot of control but when you get up there it's a whole different experience because in a way you can't really hear yourself. I think it's best if you just try to talk in to the mike to gage how loud you need to sing and then just think of calm thoughts and the lyrics.

be sure to check out my beauty blog at: http://mymakeuplife.blogspot.com/

hair,love and loneliness

Hi everyone :) so today I went to a friends to finish making the orders of chocolates for sounds and steps. The main thing I wanted to say is that I dyed my hair on wednesday and this is how it looks like, well the picture describes it but I basically wanted Ombre with pink but my colour pigment is too strong so it looks more red. I'll blog more about it on my other blog: http://mymakeuplife.blogspot.com/ but yeah I really like it. In my opinion, I'm only a teenager once and seeing as when I'm older Ill most likely never have this choice again I fugured it was best to do now.

If you havn't read the title then you should because now I'm just going to talk about valentines day and what it means to me. Now I don't know if you don't already know this but I'm not the most attractive person in the planet you know (I know shocker right??) so I think this holiday is a time of weirdness. For people like me you just feel like you're forever alone. Then your friends are all like: don't think about that, your a catch it's just the dudes...hahaha NO it's just never going to happen and I'm slowly getting used to the fact. I swear because I'm indian/asian or something that boys think I'm too conservative or something like most asians who don't dress provocatively don't want a relationship or will act all weird ( obviously I don't want to dress that way but a little interest would be nice (; ).  Newsflash! most of us live in the 21st century and are just like normal people! jeez it just frustrates me.

I just find the whole love thing quite comical in that theres so much guessing and thought that goes around it... why can't it be easier! Anyways next week we have a school dance and its based on traffic lights and green means your single, yellow complicated and red taken. Now tell me something, how does anyone find a green dress in Myanmar? please tell me because I've tried and the only one I've found will make me look like an obese hooker so I think I'll pass. Why do we always think about the menial things in life... then again it wouldn't be life without it :)

feel free to check out my beaty blog: http://mymakeuplife.blogspot.com/

Half day!

So today was a half day so we were released at 11am! I feel really tired right now so Im  going to keep this post short. So after school I went to Blue oasis with Phyu Myat, May, Jem and Aurora. The food took a really long time to come but it was still really good. I have to go finish my IOP presentation but I'm too addicted to the internet.

going to sleep!

feel free to check out my other channel: http://mymakeuplife.blogspot.com/

Jems and the literary festival

So today I went to Jems house to watch movies and hang out. It just brought back old memories because we watch she's the man as well as Bridget Jones's Diary which was absolutely hilarious! Jem and I kept repeating the part where Amanda Bynes gets her friends to act like they like her as her brother and the part where she's hit in the crotch and has to fake the pain (men know what I mean). It was just super funny! Bridgit Jones was absolutely amazing, I loved the ending where she runs out in underwear in the freezing snow to catch Darcy, that girl really has guts.

After that Jems we went to the festival to see Vikram Seth speak with Akash Kapur. Now I'm not going to go into detail because I did last blog but the way he speaks is simply amazing and gosh if I ever get the chance again sign me up! At the very end a few people went to the front to get his autograph and I was unsure as to whether I should or not because they all had his books to sign, also they were a lot older than me. So due to the next speaker needing to take the floor we went to the exhibition hall and he started signing everyone. Nick Danziger was also there and he took a picture of this! so maybe I'm in one of them! (I think that's cool because in my head it feels as though I'm remembered in a small way). After that Ms Jung Chang spoke and I got her autograph too!

Great day today and I had so much fun, now I have to ruin it and do homework and CAS journals :(

feel free to check out my other blog about beauty and all that jazz: http://mymakeuplife.blogspot.com/

Irrawady literary festival

so today I went to a literary festival which had a lot of burmese and foreign writers participating. The main thing was that Daw Aung san suu kyi was there! and I shook her hand, it was amazing. there where really cool writers such as Vikram Seth and William Dalrymple there. It first started off with a photojournalism talk with Nick Danziger and Thierry Falise and how they got into the business and what they did to get to the place they are now. The british man (Danziger) was definitely one of the best people I saw that day because his presentation was engaging. For example, he was talking about his journey through the silk trade route and the russian fires that planes would give off when he was in the soviet territory.

Some of his stories were really gruesome and really touching, such as the one about this girl who had lost her arms and how she wished to be married but can't see that future anymore because of those men who ripped her hands from her. That and the story about a girl who sold herself for 1 dollar to get a notepad for school and then finding out she's HIV positive almost brought me to tears. The way he phrased the stories just really shook me because we live such a sheltered life and we think of 1 dollar as nothing but when a girl sells her own body just for that, you have to think: surely we as people are worth more. In the sense that we're human beings and to see that our society still hasn't changed and may have even deteriorated to a certain extent is horrible. What kind of men buy a girl for 1 dollar and refuse to wear a condom. Why doesn't humanity scream at them to just help the girl instead? these stories always confuse me because I always think humanity is taking 1 step forward on one side and a step back on the other. Why bother when we just stay in the same place all the time?

Another person I really liked was this lady who wrote a travel book about travelling on the Indian railway system for 40,000 Km...that's pretty cool and for anyone to do it they must have guts because I would be terrified to do that, especially by myself. So I thought that was cool, also how she spoke because she was talking about how verbs brought her back and how she could experience the atmosphere etc. by using the correct verbs and diction.

The Orwell talk was very interesting because they were talking about politics and fascism, imperialism and socialism and speaking about how Myanmar can move forward. Now, I'm not very into politics but I did like how Mr Timothy Garton-Ash was talking about how we view the word Burma and the word Myanmar and how we (most of us) connotes good feelings with the word Burma so that's why a lot of people use it. Overall, I just thought his passion about Orwell was fascinating.

Then of course Daw Aung san suu kyi with William Dalrymple, Vikram Seth, Fergal Keane and Jung Chang were really interesting. They had a panel at the very end where they were talking about which book or more likely poems they would keep if they were stranded on a desert island. I especially like Mr Seth when he was analysing some poems because I could truly see that he was passionate about it. In general it was really funny and Ms Jung Chang was so funny when she spoke about sneaking into a pub and feeling underwhelmed because she expected it to be an inapropriate place (she was under Mao's rule through China at the time) and for an IB history student I was able to connect a lot more. Daw Aung san suu kyi had spoken earlier and she even came outside to greet the excess amount of people and I was right there! but going back to topic I just really liked the way she spoke and how beautiful her spirit is. She was just funny and just really inspiring and I loved how even after all she had gone through she was making jokes and stating how Harry Potter must have had a harder life. I still remember her saying she got let out too early from house arrest because she couldn't finish her book! trust me, she was funny.

There were so many amazing authors writing about them would take forever and I'm going again tomorrow but I just thought I would give you the highlights. I also really enjoyed Rory Maclean, Akash Kapur and this burmese author called Pasal (sorry I can't remember his whole name because it's not written on the schedule). Not to mention when Daw Aung san suu kyi was leaving and got in to her car she shook my hand! <-- highlight of my life and in that moment I realised that it was probably going to be one of the biggest things that ever happened to me so for that this day has been definitely one of the best.

make sure to check out my other blog about beauty and my life with that at: http://mymakeuplife.blogspot.com/

daily life blogging

so today I had to do my IOP for english (I take IB) and I had a full on out panic attack because my name was called out first and I guess I just felt overwhelmed by the pressure because it would most definitely determine my future. But the main reason Im writing this post is because Ive finally found real friendship sinse Nurlyana left. I mean I had Ashley and Astrea, but no one as close as I was with noodles. So when I was having my panic attack one look at me and my friends started volunteering to take my place... and I just can't believe they would do that for me. Now I'm still not completely sold with ISY in terms of education and all that, but the people are amazing. Well at least in my grade, we have no cliques and they're just generally so nice I feel so fortunate for moving and meeting them. Alice smith was cool with all the class rooms and gadgets, but the people? honestly so many of us have left and there were so many divisions and I coudnt find that close group of friends that would wait for me at my locker or would just want to hangout (I sound like a loner but seriously I wasn't it's just not the culture to go to each others houses and stuff) and also the fact that I couldn't properly connect with some people... I think I was just missing my old friends and didn't like he people changing so much I stopped wanting to connect with people (to the point where we got really close) because I always thought they'd leave... I know DEEP right? anywaz I'm just happy for the change and it's nice to know that no ones leaving for now and that they have my backs... seriously no one in alice smith would do that for me from what I remember even my friends (I'm not including older friends I mean the friends I had like last year) then again I've never been in that situation with them so who am I to know whether they would or whether they wouldn't. So on an ending note I would just like to say how grateful I am and how much I love my friends.

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